STQ Week 8 Pop Quiz

Forget all the talk about Max Hall. The BYU quarterback proved he isn’t the promised one. And again, the non-BCS teams show why they don’t get an automatic bid. Now, if the guys in charge would realize the same should apply to the Big East, ACC and Big Mac, we’d be in business. That’s right folks, in addition to picking games and cracking jokes, we here at STQ are also open to change. We embrace change. STQ in 08.

Standings

Smooth as Eggs – 131-41 (17-7 last week)

Slow Jerk – 128-44 (17-7)

Mad Handles – 126-46 (17-7)

The Wrong Rev – 124-48 (14-10)

Handles

Jerk

Eggs

Rev

Hawaii at (15) Boise

Boise 31-7

Boise 33-19

Boise 48-14

Boise 28-10

(7) TexTech at aTm

Tech 48-12

aTm 30-26

Tech 52-21

Tech 35-13

Syracuse at (19) USF

USF 24-17

USF 24-15

USF 38-17

USF 24-7

(21) Wake at Maryland

Wake 28-24

Md 30-22

Wake 21-20

Md 22-20

(22) Vandy at (10) UGA

UGA 21-17

Vandy 19-13

UGA 20-17

UGA 28-10

(16) kansAss at (4) OU

OU 38-14

OU 44-13

OU 53-12

OU 666-0

Colorado St at (14) Utah

Utah 35-12

Utah 29-19

Utah 34-12

Utah 24-3

Baylor at (8) Okie St

OSU 27-24

OSU 31-15

OSU 34-27

OSU 38-17

Ole Miss at (2) Alabama

Bama 12-10

Bama 15-14

Bama 24-10

Bama 20-14

(6) USC at Wazzu

USC 42-27

USC 37-20

USC 48-5

USC 38-2

(12) tOSU at (20) Mich St

tOSU 24-21

MSU 29-24

tOSU 27-21

MSU 21-20

(18) UNC at Virginia

UNC 31-24

UNC 30-13

UNC 28-11

UNC 17-10

(23) Pitt at Navy

Pitt 17-14

Pitt 3-0

Pitt 28-26

Pitt 31-30

Michigan at (3) Penn St

PSU 38-24

PSU 45-0

PSU 30-13

PSU 42-14

(11) Missouri at (1) UT

MU 38-35

MU 43-33

MU 42-27

MU 42-38

(13) LSU at USCe

LSU 24-17

USCe 20-14

LSU 32-8

LSU 31-10

(17) VaTech at BC

VT 28-24

VT 19-15

VT 24-10

VT 14-6

(25) Cal at Arizona

Ariz 31-17

Ariz 3-0

Cal 30-24

Ariz 19-17

Nebraska at Iowa St

UNL 17-14

ISU 21-17

ISU 28-23

ISU 28-27

K-State at Colorado

CU 35-28

CU 33-29

CU 41-30

CU 20-19

GaTech at Clemson

GT 17-13

Clem 16-14

GT 17-12

GT 28-20

Wisconsin at Iowa

Wisc 45-27

Wisky 22-10

Wisc 9-7

Iowa 3-2

Miami at Duke

U 38-14

U 20-0

U 26-17

U 24-17

Toledo at Northern Illinois

Tol 27-24

Tol 21-15

Tol 24-21

Tol 37-35

Miss St at Tennessee

Tenn 17-14

Miss St 3-0

Miss St 3-2

Tenn 6-3

Indiana at Illinois

Ill 35-10

Ill 30-20

Ill 24-16

Ill 22-13

What kind of a coach is Greg Robinson? Who is the largest coach in America? These questions and more after the jump.

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Streaking the Quad: A Mission Statement

Good afternoon, sportsfans.  As this site starts to pick up some traffic, I’d like to speak candidly to you, if I may.  My name is Slow Jerk, and I’m awesome.  I contribute to this fine, if not growing, blog.  I may say inappropriate things.  You may enjoy our work, or you may think we are complete and total wastes of sperm.  But you know what?

That’s cool.

We want to know what you are thinking.  This blog is obviously about us and what we think, but more than that, we want discussion.  We want arguments.  We want all out melees where people’s mothers and sisters are painted as harlots and stankcrotches.  This is the internet, people, and we want a piece of you.  Things are said on this website that, if i’m being honest, we may not 100% stand behind.  Why would we do that?  Because, it’s much more fun to rag on something than to praise it.  Sure, Alabama is a good football team this year.  But their QB is named John Parker Wilson and he looks like this:
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His head looks like a damn walnut.  And that name – good lord, man.  Pretty soon he’ll be giving fake handjobs on the set of the Young and the Restless.

What’s the point, you ask?  Well, we want comments.  We want discussion.

kansas fans- you’re kansas, and you suck.  You should want to defend yourself at every strike.  Hell, we pick you to lose every game.  And you don’t have a single playmaker on that “football” team of yours.

SEC fans – your conference is VASTLY overrated.  Outside of 2-3 teams, you are a glorified Big 10.  And don’t get me started on the big 10… terrible.  Maybe if those two conferences merged we’d have a decent competitor for the Big 12.  Maybe.

So, here at STQ we are about 88% awesome already.  With your contributions and insights, dear readers, we can achieve 100% awesome.  And who knows, you might even be funnier than Smooth as Eggs.

One last thing before I leave you for the day – Personal attacks are good.  You think that I’m an idiot?  Well, then you should take the time to tell me so.  “Hey Slow Jerk-off, what do you know?  I bet that when you were young you probably fast jerked to pictures of your own mother and then shot your Jacquizz all over your father’s shoes.”  Something like that.  Probably not as messed up though.  That’s all me.

Here’s to a great relationship between you internet-blog-nerd readers and us internet-blog-nerd writers.  If you like our site, spread the word.  We are actually serious about making this site fun and somewhat informative, so look for new features.  As the Georgia fan said about the internet – “Internets?  Is that when I stuck my Ugggga inter my sister’s neths?”  Did that even make sense?  Nope.  Enjoy.

Kenny Chesney – Confirmed Douchebag

Dateline: Nashville.

Country music superstar and noted chickenshit Kenny Chesney was a secret guest on ESPN’s popular Gameday program.  The balding freak was allowed to sit in and pick games with the experts.  Read why he’s a giant douchebag after the jump.

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This Guy Could have Tackled Jacquizz

Brian Cushing?  Ray Maualuga?  Pssssh.  This guy would lead USC in tackles.

I expect this was about the level of seriousness at the Trojan practices this week.  Congrats, Beavers!

Professor Slow Jerk and his Amazing Study Guide

This week, we will look at a few things you should know in the week that is College Football.

Game of the week – UGA/Bama

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I’m looking into the future.  This is the amount of Natural Light that Matthew Stafford will have to drink after getting beaten by the Fighting Sabans.  I’ll say this – he’s a better keg holder than a passer.  And at least with the keg in his hands he can’t spoon a fellow Dawg.  As for Knowshon – I’m glad he’s putting his leaping abilities to good use.

More after the jump:

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Professor Emeritus

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Your Weekly Review Guide

It’s that time again, kids.  Today we’ll look back at the week that was in College Football.  Check back later in the week for the Weekly Study Tips for the upcoming weekend.  Before we delve into today’s reading, I have a quick article to bring to your attention.  This will not be on the test, but it will provide you with everything you need to get yourself into the football mindset.

Amazing story from LJWorld.com

Now, we don’t want this blog to become a “bash-ku-only” blog, but c’mon.  You don’t even know who your QB is?  It isn’t like this is the seventh-string walk-on punter.  It is your nationally regarded QB.  I don’t even know what to say about this, other than you will never find that kind of hackish journalism here at STQ.  Not one among us is a cage fighter.   I’d be able to pick out ol’ Todd a mile away – I’d just look for the half-assed beard and the smell of Natural Light.

With that – Professor Slow Jerk drops the knowledge after the jump…

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