Well sportsfans, that was a hell of a weekend. 3 of your top teams lost. My beloved Tigers played like they had “Auburn” or “Clemson” on the front of their jerseys. Texas held Demarco Murray to single digit rushing yards. Auburn fired Tony Franklin, thus setting back SEC offensive football even further (seriously, it can happen, folks). This, of course, leads to a shake-up of the Dean’s List and Paddle Line, and a pretty uninspired performance from yours truly, Slow Jerk. In all fairness, Dez Bryant and his overrated play and acidic attitude tore out my soul for a few days. So, after the jump, check out where your favorite team ranks and read our witty anecdotes that follow. Mine are a bit lame, but in all fairness I wrote them with a fauxhawk, mustache, and someone else’s jersey on. The Rev is not represented on this list because he is busy interviewing for the O-Coordinator position at Auburn. Click on “more”, bitches.
We’re into full-fledged conference season now, which always separates the men from the boys. The Real Teams from the Pretenders. So sit back and enjoy the ride. The Rev is so excited, he ripped out of one of his too-tight shirts. Slow Jerk is sharpening his mental pencil (there’s still a little nub left). Mad Handles is working on his metaphor-simile crossovers, and Smooth as Eggs? He’s polishing his game like The Rev polished off Jerk’s mom.
Find our Top 21 and Bottom 7 after the jump. Continue reading
After a crazy upset weekend, we know you’re a little shocked. If your team went down, you’re searching for someone to help you make sense of all of this. To deal with the crushing disappointment and sense of, well, loss. Your professors are happy to oblige. Continue reading