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STQ Pop Quiz Week 10

All the professors here at Streaking the Quad have been failing lately. However, it is crunch time now, and they are getting ready for one naked run through campus. Are you ready to come along for the ride.

Mad Handles

Slow Jerk

Smooth As Eggs

The Right Rev

Northwestern at (17) Minn

Minn 24-17

NW 22-20

Minn 17-15

NW 22-21

Wisconsin at (21) Mich St

Wisky 14-13

MSU 30-14

MSU 28-20

MSU 17-3

WVU at (25) Uconn

WVU 34-31

Uconn 29-20

WVU 23-14

Uconn 13-10

(18) Tulsa at Arkansas

Tulsa 28-2

Tulsa 44-23

Tulsa 38-35

Ark 28-24

Arkansas St at (2) Bama

Bama 21-13

Bama 39-13

Bama 30-13

Bama 30-3

(14) Missouri at Baylor

MU 48-17

MU 58-12

MU 59-12

MU 49-20

(8) Florida vs. (6) Georgia

UF 38-24

UF 29-3

UF 42-20

UF 38-34

Iowa St at (9) Okie State

OSU 42-7

OSU 33-24

OSU 63-10

OSU 55-17

(15) FSU at GaTech

FSU 24-17

GT 30-18

FSU 28-16

FSU 19-16

(24) Oregon at Cal

Oregon 21-14

Oregon 40-0

Oregon 28-27

Oregon 37-35

(20) BYU at Colorado St

BYU 35-14

BYU 29-19

BYU 49-6

BYU 38-10

Washington at (5) USC

USC 45-10


USC 60-5

USC 42-6

(11) Boise at NM State

BSU 34-24

BSU 36-20

BSU 48-13

BSU 30-17

(1) Texas at (7) TexTech

UT 45-14

UT 42-23

UT 49-33

UT 33-27

Nebraska at (4) OU

OU 38-24

OU 41-9

OU 63-17

OU 41-21

(13) TCU at UNLV

TCU 38-24

TCU 29-12

TCU 33-20

TCU 20-10

Tulane at (19) LSU

LSU 31-7

LSU 4-3

LSU 40-24

LSU 30-3

(10) Utah at New Mexico

Utah 30-28

Utah 25-20

Utah 38-17

Utah 20-9

k-state at kansAss

kSU 28-21

ksu 3-0

kSU 47-40

kSU 45-42

Colorado at aTm

CU 6-3

aTm 10-3

CU 14-13

CU 13-10

Air Force at Army

Army 21-17

Army 41-39

AF 30-24

AF 32-19

Pitt at Notre Dame

ND 34-14

Pitt 14-9

Pitt 28-20

Pitt 33-26

iowa at Illinois

UofI 31-28

UofI 15-10

Iowa 20-10

Iowa 13-9

Tennessee at USCe

USCe 17-14

USCe 33-21

USCe 17-16

USCe 3-2

For more insight, keep reading after the jump.

Continue reading


Week 9 STQ Dean’s List and Paddle Line

Dean’s List

It would appear that some people were caught unaware for the start of conference season. It’s put up or shut up time, gentlemen. Coaching changes have already been made, as one preseason Deans’ Lister has fallen from glory (looking at you, Clemson). Who will turn their season around in time to save their goals for the season? Who will save face? Who will save nachos? And who will save Grace?

Get the lastest rankings from our expert (smart-alecks) after the break. Continue reading

STQ Week 8 Pop Quiz

Forget all the talk about Max Hall. The BYU quarterback proved he isn’t the promised one. And again, the non-BCS teams show why they don’t get an automatic bid. Now, if the guys in charge would realize the same should apply to the Big East, ACC and Big Mac, we’d be in business. That’s right folks, in addition to picking games and cracking jokes, we here at STQ are also open to change. We embrace change. STQ in 08.


Smooth as Eggs – 131-41 (17-7 last week)

Slow Jerk – 128-44 (17-7)

Mad Handles – 126-46 (17-7)

The Wrong Rev – 124-48 (14-10)





Hawaii at (15) Boise

Boise 31-7

Boise 33-19

Boise 48-14

Boise 28-10

(7) TexTech at aTm

Tech 48-12

aTm 30-26

Tech 52-21

Tech 35-13

Syracuse at (19) USF

USF 24-17

USF 24-15

USF 38-17

USF 24-7

(21) Wake at Maryland

Wake 28-24

Md 30-22

Wake 21-20

Md 22-20

(22) Vandy at (10) UGA

UGA 21-17

Vandy 19-13

UGA 20-17

UGA 28-10

(16) kansAss at (4) OU

OU 38-14

OU 44-13

OU 53-12

OU 666-0

Colorado St at (14) Utah

Utah 35-12

Utah 29-19

Utah 34-12

Utah 24-3

Baylor at (8) Okie St

OSU 27-24

OSU 31-15

OSU 34-27

OSU 38-17

Ole Miss at (2) Alabama

Bama 12-10

Bama 15-14

Bama 24-10

Bama 20-14

(6) USC at Wazzu

USC 42-27

USC 37-20

USC 48-5

USC 38-2

(12) tOSU at (20) Mich St

tOSU 24-21

MSU 29-24

tOSU 27-21

MSU 21-20

(18) UNC at Virginia

UNC 31-24

UNC 30-13

UNC 28-11

UNC 17-10

(23) Pitt at Navy

Pitt 17-14

Pitt 3-0

Pitt 28-26

Pitt 31-30

Michigan at (3) Penn St

PSU 38-24

PSU 45-0

PSU 30-13

PSU 42-14

(11) Missouri at (1) UT

MU 38-35

MU 43-33

MU 42-27

MU 42-38

(13) LSU at USCe

LSU 24-17

USCe 20-14

LSU 32-8

LSU 31-10

(17) VaTech at BC

VT 28-24

VT 19-15

VT 24-10

VT 14-6

(25) Cal at Arizona

Ariz 31-17

Ariz 3-0

Cal 30-24

Ariz 19-17

Nebraska at Iowa St

UNL 17-14

ISU 21-17

ISU 28-23

ISU 28-27

K-State at Colorado

CU 35-28

CU 33-29

CU 41-30

CU 20-19

GaTech at Clemson

GT 17-13

Clem 16-14

GT 17-12

GT 28-20

Wisconsin at Iowa

Wisc 45-27

Wisky 22-10

Wisc 9-7

Iowa 3-2

Miami at Duke

U 38-14

U 20-0

U 26-17

U 24-17

Toledo at Northern Illinois

Tol 27-24

Tol 21-15

Tol 24-21

Tol 37-35

Miss St at Tennessee

Tenn 17-14

Miss St 3-0

Miss St 3-2

Tenn 6-3

Indiana at Illinois

Ill 35-10

Ill 30-20

Ill 24-16

Ill 22-13

What kind of a coach is Greg Robinson? Who is the largest coach in America? These questions and more after the jump.

Continue reading

Week 7 STQ Dean’s List and Paddle Line

Well sportsfans, that was a hell of a weekend.  3 of your top teams lost.  My beloved Tigers played like they had “Auburn” or “Clemson” on the front of their jerseys.  Texas held Demarco Murray to single digit rushing yards.  Auburn fired Tony Franklin, thus setting back SEC offensive football even further (seriously, it can happen, folks).  This, of course, leads to a shake-up of the Dean’s List and Paddle Line, and a pretty uninspired performance from yours truly, Slow Jerk.  In all fairness, Dez Bryant and his overrated play and acidic attitude tore out my soul for a few days.  So, after the jump, check out where your favorite team ranks and read our witty anecdotes that follow.  Mine are a bit lame, but in all fairness I wrote them with a fauxhawk, mustache, and someone else’s jersey on.  The Rev is not represented on this list because he is busy interviewing for the O-Coordinator position at Auburn.   Click on “more”, bitches.

Continue reading

STQ Week 7 Pop Quiz

Consider us here at Streaking the Quad as the SEC of college sports blogs. Well, yes, we are the greatest even though we have no way of actually proving that. But that isn’t what I meant. Rather, we came out flat last week and forgot to show up.

Lesson learned. It won’t happen again. To ensure that, Mad Handles spent the week pulling tires, Slow Jerk ran steps, The Right Rev had to listen to about a billion jokes about his smoking hot sister and I, Smooth as Eggs, was forced to watch a replay of Auburn-Mississippi State. Trust me, after that torture, your beloved professors are ready to raise their game.


Smooth as Eggs — 114-35 (0-1 this week)

Slow Jerk — 112-37 (1-0)

The Right Rev — 111 -38 (1-0)

Mad Handles — 110-39 (1-0)






(5) UT vs. (1) OU

OU 38-21

OU 31-24

OU 31-28

OU 38-35

Colorado at (16) kU

kU 28-27

CU 14-10

CU 33-13

CU 666-0

(14) Utah at Wyoming

Utah 45-10

Utah 31-13

Utah 35-3

Utah 24-20

(13) Vandy at Miss. St

Vandy 14-13

Vandy 15-3

Vandy 14-8

Vandy 23-16

Nebraska at (7) TTech

TT 72-24

TT 47-31

TT 66-22

TT 73-28

Arizona St at (8) USC

USC 38-21

USC 33-19

USC 38-9

USC 31-17

Tennessee at (10) UGA

UGA 14-13

UGA 17-7

UGA 17-10

UGA 19-12

Purdue at (12) tOSU

tOSU 35-7

tOSU 29-22

tOSU 27-11

tOSU 28-10

ND at (22) UNC

UNC 28-14

UNC 33-13

UNC 30-14

UNC 21-20

(23) Mich St at NW

NW 28-24

NW 33-29

MSU 28-26

NW 35-34

Arkansas at (20) Aub.

Auburn 10-6

Auburn 2-0

Auburn 19-7

Auburn 3-2

New Mexico at (9) BYU

BYU 42-21

BYU 29-28

BYU 40-24

BYU 49-17

(25) Ball State at W. Ky

Ball 28-17

Ball 30-17

Ball 31-20

Ball 42-34

(17) OSU at (3) Mizzou

MU 55-24

MU 62-23

MU 56-24

MU 52-27

(4) LSU at (11) Florida

UF 24-17

UF 12-10

UF 18-16

UF 30-24

(6) PSU at Wisconsin

PSU 27-24

PSU 35-22

PSU 27-12

PSU 45-19

(15) BSU at South. Miss

Boise 31-13

Boise 41-36

Boise 33-8

Boise 28-27

k-State at aTm

kSU 27-17

kSU 17-3

kSU 30-29

aTm 28-22

Iowa St at Baylor

BU 38-21

BU 31-23

BU 21-17

BU 30-27

Minnesota at Illinois

UofI 41-24

UofI 33-17

UofI 30-14

UofI 33-13

Rutgers at Cincinnati

Cincy 28-17

Cincy 30-10

Cincy 20-18

Cincy 6-3

USCe at Kentucky

UK 17-14

USCe 23-18

USCe 14-10

UK 10-3

Arizona at Stanford

Stan. 31-24

Stan. 26-25

Stan. 16-14

Ariz. 28-27

Full-blown analysis from the smartest and most sarcastic kids in the room after the jump. Continue reading

Honors Courses – Week 7

Week seven marks the return of Honors Courses. I took a one-week hiatus last week… and can’t really offer a good explanation as to why, other than this isn’t my full-time job, and frankly life just gets in the way sometimes. I couldn’t take this week off, though. There are simply too  many good games to not weigh in. Everyone knows why you should watch Texas/Oklahoma in the Red River Shootout, but what about LSU/Florida, or Tennessee/Georgia? Why is Northwestern probably going to take out Michigan State? Find out in this week’s edition of Honors Courses.

Continue reading

Streaking the Quad: A Mission Statement

Good afternoon, sportsfans.  As this site starts to pick up some traffic, I’d like to speak candidly to you, if I may.  My name is Slow Jerk, and I’m awesome.  I contribute to this fine, if not growing, blog.  I may say inappropriate things.  You may enjoy our work, or you may think we are complete and total wastes of sperm.  But you know what?

That’s cool.

We want to know what you are thinking.  This blog is obviously about us and what we think, but more than that, we want discussion.  We want arguments.  We want all out melees where people’s mothers and sisters are painted as harlots and stankcrotches.  This is the internet, people, and we want a piece of you.  Things are said on this website that, if i’m being honest, we may not 100% stand behind.  Why would we do that?  Because, it’s much more fun to rag on something than to praise it.  Sure, Alabama is a good football team this year.  But their QB is named John Parker Wilson and he looks like this:

His head looks like a damn walnut.  And that name – good lord, man.  Pretty soon he’ll be giving fake handjobs on the set of the Young and the Restless.

What’s the point, you ask?  Well, we want comments.  We want discussion.

kansas fans- you’re kansas, and you suck.  You should want to defend yourself at every strike.  Hell, we pick you to lose every game.  And you don’t have a single playmaker on that “football” team of yours.

SEC fans – your conference is VASTLY overrated.  Outside of 2-3 teams, you are a glorified Big 10.  And don’t get me started on the big 10… terrible.  Maybe if those two conferences merged we’d have a decent competitor for the Big 12.  Maybe.

So, here at STQ we are about 88% awesome already.  With your contributions and insights, dear readers, we can achieve 100% awesome.  And who knows, you might even be funnier than Smooth as Eggs.

One last thing before I leave you for the day – Personal attacks are good.  You think that I’m an idiot?  Well, then you should take the time to tell me so.  “Hey Slow Jerk-off, what do you know?  I bet that when you were young you probably fast jerked to pictures of your own mother and then shot your Jacquizz all over your father’s shoes.”  Something like that.  Probably not as messed up though.  That’s all me.

Here’s to a great relationship between you internet-blog-nerd readers and us internet-blog-nerd writers.  If you like our site, spread the word.  We are actually serious about making this site fun and somewhat informative, so look for new features.  As the Georgia fan said about the internet – “Internets?  Is that when I stuck my Ugggga inter my sister’s neths?”  Did that even make sense?  Nope.  Enjoy.