Anybody Interested in Some Cheap Whine?

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: kansas fan scrapes together enough Mountain Dew-and-lint-covered coins from beneath the threadbare sofa cushions and purchases a round-trip donkey ride to a jayhawk road game. The sport doesn’t matter, but in the spirit of the season, let’s say its football. Said kansas fan makes it to the game, watches his team (win or lose, but historically it’s been the latter), and comes back with incredibly detailed descriptions of how he was mistreated by opposing fans. “The worst I’ve ever seen,” he says. Every time. “I was just there to watch the game, and maybe have a nice conversation with new found friends. You know, normal talk like ‘Those are some nice teeth – most I ever seen. How do you keep ’em so purty white?’ And they said things back to me that’d make a sailor blush. Worst I’ve ever seen.”

Surely you’ve wanted to say “stop” by now. Because we always hear this from kansas fans. They say it after pretty much any Missouri game. It’s familiar fare after any K-State game. They didn’t think much of the Virginia Tech fans after last year’s Orange Bowl, either. And now, we read in the Daily Kansan that there were people, gasp, drinking beer before the kansas/South Florida game on Friday! Quick, somebody dial up the moral outrage hotline, kansas fan has yet another complaint! Opposing fans, in their own house, once again had the unmitigated gall to serve up a nice plate of hostility to the visiting crowd. Surely this never happens to anyone else. Kansas fans are victims, unfairly targeted! They have self-righteous indignance down, man. It’s an art form in Lawrence. Look, kansas fan, if you are going into hostile venues expecting to be welcomed with fine wine and high-brow conversation… start scheduling games at Ole Miss and hang out there. Otherwise, suck it up, know that going into it you’re going to be the target of some hostility, and enjoy the fact that you were one of the few who could dip into your child’s couch spring college fund and secure travel out of that wasteland you call home if only for a day or two. Stop bitching. When you keep saying each place you visit was the “worst ever,” it starts to ring hollow pretty quickly. Please, I implore you on behalf of college fans everywhere, just shut up!


42 Responses

  1. Nicely effing done, man. Somewhere Ryan Robertson is contracting an STD from a Roy Williams impersonator.

  2. Post your name and your school. This way the next road game to your school, we will make certain to not be our polite selves and we will just kick your ass for pissing us off. Douche bag.

  3. David: Thanks for further making my case. You’re right, you are polite.

  4. David, too late you and your fans are already jackasses (as fans of all schools are). Other fan bases just don’t cry about it to the local paper like ku.

  5. KU fans are the without question the absolute bottom of the barrel! They treat vistors like garbage but when they go to someone elses house they expect a free pass. Screw KU.

  6. hey david – GO TIGERS.

    and are you calling ku fans polite? bullshit. we’re all assholes, David.

  7. But Lew Perkins paid us a lot of money to choose Kansas for last year’s BCS Bowl. We knew as everyone else did as well that they diidn’t deserve to be in a BCS Bowl but hey…money talks! Now all they do is whine and complain about how classy there fans are and everyone elses suck. hopefully the Bowl Committees this year will think twice..of course that is in the remote event that they actually become Bowl eligible with the crappy team and attitudes they have.

  8. Here are two places that you can go to seek good opinions of Kansas fans, in particular me:

    Texas A&M:

    Virginia Tech:

  9. ku fans are there with nebraska fans when it comes to class. kansas fans are very respectful. how can you possibly say that they are “bottom of the barrel”? you have texas tech fans throwing batteries, food, drinks and all sorts of random objects at you. ku fans behaved really well when they came to college station last year. i would have to say that the worst are tech and colorado.

    i understand that some of you are mizzou fans. yall are rivals like us and texas so its normal to view the other fan base as classless. mizzou fans arent bad either. glad to see that the big 12 north has emerged with last year’s performance

  10. Fuck you and this douchebag story. Didn’t deserve the Orange Bowl? 1 loss by one score vs 2 blowout losses on our record.

    Math-something not taught in Missouri!

  11. There was only one blowout lose on MU’s schedule last year. I’d hardly call 41-31 at OU a blowout…dipshit. And no ku didn’t deserve the Orange Bowl even though they did beat Vag Tech. Hell Nebraska would have beat them last year.

  12. Okay the point is that we KU Fans wish we were as good as the MU Football team but deep down we know better. Chase is a better QB and a Heisman Candidate..Reesing isn’t. MU has a better Coach. Offense, and Defense. We somehow (thanks to slimy politics) got a BCS bid last year. Now I know that Football fans around the country were in shock and couldn’t figure out why in the hell KU got a BCS bid after Missouri absolutely embarrassed us and our QB. We still aren’t over that internet picture of our beloved Reesing with turf sticking out of his helmet after that mean MU D Line drove him into the ground. Oh I just hate you Missouri fans and football team because your so much better than us darn it. And everyone is picking on us KU fans..waaaaaaaaaaaa

  13. Face it. kU fans are just looking for someone, ANYONE to tell them they have a good football team. Unfortunately they can’t find anyone. The whole country is laughing them.

  14. Fuck all of you, and this retard douchebag “story” and website!

    Smell my Orange Bowl jock and Suck It Biotches!!!!


  15. Laugh all you want, we got the BCS victory and a National Championship in BB. Suck it assholes.

  16. “Smell my Orange Bowl jock” – man. We should have never talked shit about ku. Seriously, shit like that pretty much renders any comeback worthless.

    The fact is ku has a DECENT football team. You are kidding yourselves if you think that you had an above and beyond better team than Mizzou last season. The head-to-head matchup says otherwise. Also – OU was good. They would have smeared the beaks all over the field. This year, scheduling is catching up with ku. The loss at USF is one reason why ku is not at the level Mizzou is right now. Fuck your Orange Bowl and hoops shit. Man up and realize that Mizzou has an elite team this season, and that ku is better than they have been historically, but they are not at the place Mizzou is.

    Also – stop whining about other fanbases. A program with any modicum of success and respect for itself doesn’t need to play that card. Had ku beat USF – this story would have never been written. Great teams don’t make excuses when they lose.

  17. “The fact is ku has a DECENT football team. You are kidding yourselves if you think that you had an above and beyond better team than Mizzou last season. The head-to-head matchup says otherwise. Also – OU was good. They would have smeared the beaks all over the field.”

    Hilarious. Not necessarily saying KU was the better team than mu (is lower case the cool thing these days?), but didn’t KU beat up your tigers from 2003-2005? Which team was considered better those years?

    As for OU, your team lost to them not once, but TWICE. And then they went on to get humiliated by a West Virginia team that had recently lost to a bad Pitt team.

    Mizzou is not elite. When will you people get that through your heads? We didn’t think our team was elite back in 1993 when KU was in the top ten. Win something important. Be successful for more than one or two-year periods. As it stands, MU still has no Big 12 titles in football, and very few in any other sport. Some baseball title back in the fifties or sixties produced the only real trophy MU has that is worth displaying. We could forfeit the Orange Bowl and hoops title and KU would still have more historical success in athletics than MU.

    This was an issue for most KU fans in Raymond James Stadium, so stop calling people whiners. Even when KU was up 20-3 and looking good, the crowd was the worst I’ve encountered in 30 years of traveling to KU games. Many of us contacted to university to let them know of the problem so the same things wouldn’t be repeated. They actually made MU fans look respectful.

  18. Being one of the three most impressive teams thus far (check ESPN) – Elite. Having the top contender for the Heisman (ESPN, SI, Heisman Pundit) – Elite. Lining the top of the power rankings of each position (rivals) – Elite.

  19. Praise for fans
    Email Comments (2) iPod-friendly Print January 8, 2008

    To the editor:

    I am a huge Virginia Tech fan and I am totally impressed with how University of Kansas students and fans conduct themselves.

    After beating us fair and square in the FedEx Orange Bowl, the KU team and fans showed total class. The Jayhawks could have run that last play and attempted to score another touchdown when on the 1-yard line, but they chose to simply take a knee rather than run up the score. Scoring another touchdown would have meant nothing other than demonstrating a greater margin of victory and potentially helping with final poll placement.

    I also have spoken to numerous Hokie fans who were in Miami and went out to the bars after the game. Each one of them mentioned the complete class shown by ALL Kansas fans.

    It hurts when you care about something so much and lose, but I can honestly say that I have no issue with who we lost to, as your team and representatives of your state and school are fine people who know how to win with class!

    I will always be pulling for your Kansas Jayhawks, unless they are playing my beloved Hokies!

    Enjoy your time in the football sun, as you deserve it!

    Paul Lewis,

    Chester, Va.

  20. Man i cant wait until missery loses this year to texas and ou and then plays in the cotton bowl and wonder boy booger picker daniel will leave to sit on some nfl bench and they become bottom dwellers again haha then that will shut those missery bandwagoners up!!!!!!!!!!

  21. ShiMMY (nice name by the way, douche):

    Boogers? really? that’s what you’re going with? Well, sir, I’ll wrap this up for you nicely. For the 2008 Football season:

    ku fans have “booger picker” as their main insult and/or smacktalk about the Tigers.

    Mizzou fans have a ku loss.

  22. I was at the game and had several KU fans spit on me on the way into the stadium. In the stadium one guy threw beer on me while his big bubba buddy said what are you going to do about it?

    KU fans have to be the worst in the country. Several friends of mine at VT said there behavior at the Orange Bowl was absolutely pathetic! After the game KU fans threw beer on them and chanted were #1. Funny how a team that has no Heisman Candidates, no success against top ranked teams, and jealousy towards Missouri can actually write articles on appropriate football behavior. I hope the elite Missouri team pummels you AGAIN this year. Until you beat someone other than VT, and win against any ranked decent team, keep your mouths shut. losers..

  23. You’re not the Jesus this rev knows.

    The REAL Jesus would remember multiple Big 8(7/6/Mo Valley) titles for Missouri in a number of sports. Including wins in multiple bowls, the Orange included.

    Bottom line: It is weak to complain about the opposing fan base. Especially to a newspaper. It boggles my mind that people expect to go on the road for a college football game and be treated like they’re making a trip to the local yacht club for a nice brunch and some bloody mary action. (Or is that just ku fans?).

    Go on the road. Wear your colors. Just be prepared for some people to be rude. To curse at you. To flip you off. And (here’s the REAL shocker) to perhaps imbibe some alcohol before the game.

    “People were doing beer bongs, what do I tell my kids!”

    Really, ku fan? Really?

  24. TAMPA – While warming up before Friday’s game against Kansas, University of South Florida QB Matt Grothe noticed a USF fan screaming derogatory slurs at the Jayhawks cheerleaders.

    “I didn’t appreciate it,” Grothe said. “Some idiot of ours, every time a KU cheerleader walked by, he yelled a sexual slur over and over to each and every one.

    “Yelling at a cheerleader? Those poor girls don’t know why they’re getting yelled at. It’s like me going up to that guy’s mom and calling her that. Is he going to like that? They should just be happy with us winning games.”

    Apparently, winning isn’t everything. And, unfortunately, what Grothe witnessed wasn’t an isolated incident.

    It was among several examples of abusive, profanity-laced verbal attacks and intimidation of KU fans before, during and after the game.

  25. “Being one of the three most impressive teams thus far (check ESPN) – Elite. Having the top contender for the Heisman (ESPN, SI, Heisman Pundit) – Elite. Lining the top of the power rankings of each position (rivals) – Elite.”

    No real tradition (Faurot?) = not elite.
    No conference title in 39 years = not elite.
    Zero national titles = not elite.
    No more than a handful of MU players in the NFL = not elite.
    One major bowl win in over three decades = not elite.
    Being ranked in the top ten only twice in 39 years = not elite.
    All-time losing record against all but one BCS conference = not elite.

    Rivals power rankings? Are you in high school?

    Being successful one season doesn’t make a team elite. It makes you one of the best teams that year. Like Boise State, Utah, etc, MU and KU come and go. Daniel is a great QB, and MU should make it back to the Big 12 championship. But Pinkel is a choke artist, so there’s no reason to get your hopes up about a national title run.

  26. Jesus, thanks for the “Pinkel is a choke artist” line. It’s up there with “boogerpicker”

    MU is an elite team THIS YEAR. I could give two shits about “tradition” when it comes to the actual season. And just so you know, Rivals is not just a recruiting database – they talk NCAA football and have their own power rankings by position for current players – so your high school comment isn’t really anything but retarded.

    Disclaimer – while we hate ku, we love you guys reading our shit and discussing about what you read. Please, Jesus, for the love of your father, keep ’em coming.

  27. What makes MU elite this year? They haven’t stepped outside of the hillbilly state yet, and only beat Illinois. They almost lost to some no-name team this past weekend. The trashing of Nevada was impressive, but expected. (Loved that fake field goal while up big).

    For the love of all that is holy, don’t use the word “elite” when discussing MU football. Do something first. Make it to a BCS bowl. Go undefeated.

    And we read this shit because your fans post it on our boards. I had to jump in on this one. I’ve hated EVERY trip to Columbia in my life, but I go to support my Jayhawks. Those idiotic fans seem mild compared to the kids we encountered in Tampa.

  28. Do you really think they put much effort into their power rankings?

    Is Colt McCoy really a top ten QB?
    Sean Witherspoon is better than Ray Maualuga and James Laurinaitis?

    Come on.

  29. I won’t use the word “elite” with MU Football if you will stop using the word “Champion” when it comes to ku football. If we’re playing the “who you beat” game – ku beat a terrible VT team to win the Orange Bowl last year.

    It’s not all about who you beat. It’s who is on your team and how you beat the teams in front of you. Is it just a coincidence that almost all major sports outlets are focusing on THREE teams (USC, OU, and Mizzou) as the teams to beat? In the terms of a season – that is ELITE my friend.


  31. Here’s my spin on KU…

    1) What the hell is a Jayhawk? A fictional cartoonish bird that strikes fear into no one. Kind of fruity in my opinion. Besides, I can’t think of one single logo, mascot, etc. in the world that uses the color red, blue and yellow?!

    2) Don’t they know how pathetically boring and stupid their “rock chalk jayhawk” chant is? Even worse, no one can explain what it actually means.

    3)Since the fans of KU really have no control over #1, and they don’t know why they do #2, here’s my real concern… the majority of KU fans have no backbone. Notice I said majority, not all. I know they’re are a few of you that the following doesn’t describe at all. But as a majority, they just want to be a part of winning team. Here’s my point, I work with a bunch of KU, MU, and KSU fans. The MU and KSU fans ALWAYS want to see KU lose. No matter what the sport, who the opponent is, etc. But KU always says stupid things like, “I just want to see any team from Kansas win.” or “It’s good for the BIG 12”. Those have to be the most panzy-ass responses ever, however, I hear them 90% of the time. Look, there’s a reason it’s called a RIVALRY. You’re supposed to NOT like your rival. Do you think the Redsox fans EVER cheer for the Yankees? NO! NEVER! You don’t hear them say “It’s good for the American League” or stupid stuff like that. Grow a sack. Be proud of who your team is, and cheer for them loudly and AGAINST your rivalry maybe even louder.

    Also, wear your KU gear on GAMEDAY, not the day AFTER they win. I’ve never seen so much KU gear as AFTER they won the championship. It was almost non-existent before that.

    I’ve been to games at both KU and MU and have had a blast at both. As with any situation, you have your good fans and your bad fans. To me, it’s pretty simple. If you’re a dick, you’re a dick. Dress yourself up as a Wildcat, Tiger, or Jayhawk, you’re still a dick. And vice-versa if you’re a great person. At the games, yes, I want your team to lose, and I want you to be miserable for those three hours while your team is losing. But as soon as the game is over, I want some good drinking buddies to get hammered with, regardless of the jersey on your back, even though we’ll talk shit back and forth over many, many shots.

    I’m a KSU fan and bleed purple ALWAYS. Some of you will reply to this post just because you’ll find something to retort on, which is fine, bring it. However, at least make it factual instead of the usual “inbred farm town purple’s gay” comment. Be original and have some substance.

  32. Epic stuff, Your Leader. Epic.

    Welcome to the quad. Come back and see us.


    Seriously, you guys complain about every team you play. And you do it twice as bad after a loss. Like it has been mentioned above, this would not even have been an issue if KU had won the game. Grow a pair. Had you played Texas or OU last year, you wouldn’t have even made the Texas Bowl.

    I don’t care about USF or any other Big East team. Kansas smells of puke and they showed it on Friday.

  34. What’s really gay is the waving wheat cheer after a score. You guys looks like a bunch of pus*ies with limp wrists with that cheer. It really makes you look stupid. Funny thing is you guys just don’t get it. All men (in possession of testosterone) cringe when your male fans limply wave your hands like an orangutan running through the zoo. It really gives you guys a real manly look..NOT

    KU and their fans are a bunch of woosies that cry every time they lose like little girls. Pathetic, classless KU fans….yuck

  35. I love the internet.

  36. This exact thing can be said about every school

  37. “I won’t use the word “elite” with MU Football if you will stop using the word “Champion” when it comes to ku football. If we’re playing the “who you beat” game – ku beat a terrible VT team to win the Orange Bowl last year.

    It’s not all about who you beat. It’s who is on your team and how you beat the teams in front of you. Is it just a coincidence that almost all major sports outlets are focusing on THREE teams (USC, OU, and Mizzou) as the teams to beat? In the terms of a season – that is ELITE my friend.”

    -KU was the 2008 Orange Bowl champ. There’s no other way to title it. Before the game, MUfan said the #3 Virginia Tech Hokies were going to demolish KU. After they lost, MUfan went on the offensive, claiming that “oh, we knew they were terrible from the start”. Bullshit. MUfan is just bitter as always. Forgive us and the rest of the country for sleeping during the Cotton Bowl. I had fun in Miami watching my favorite team beat the #3 team in the nation in front of millions of TV viewers.

    -If it isn’t about who you beat, then why were so many of your fans whining about our schedule last year? KU featured three All-Americans, and beat up most of their opponents. Are you admitting they were elite in 2008? Is it only about who you beat when you’re talking about KU? Is MU exempt from SOS talk?

    -If MU was being talked about as one of the top three teams in the country, they’d be ranked in the top three. Four teams have first place votes, and none of them named are Mizzou. Analysts love your offense, but most believe that defense will keep you from winning conference. They’re right.

    MU. Is. Not. Elite. They have a great offense this year.

  38. “Had you played Texas or OU last year, you wouldn’t have even made the Texas Bowl.”

    OU lost to Colorado, but they always dominate at home. Texas was not a factor last season. They got destroyed at home by KSU, narrowly defeated NU and Central Florida and lost to Texas A&M. You don’t think KU would win that one?

  39. ku will lose 3 more games this year not counting a bowl.

  40. I’ll give you this much, hey-zeus, you sure do know how to come back for a beating. It’s over, man. You fail. Find something else on the blog to gripe about. Slowjerk goes after you kU toads again in his most recent post. Chew on that one for a while. Or, maybe get out of your mom’s basement and find a girl to hang out with.

  41. Happily married with two kids. No basement unfortunately. The earth shifts too much around here.

    Still waiting for that beating from the ELITE Missouri fans.

  42. Jesus –
    the Beating comes from you spending time on our blog. it’s a beating in a more metaphorical sense.

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