Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: kansas fan scrapes together enough Mountain Dew-and-lint-covered coins from beneath the threadbare sofa cushions and purchases a round-trip donkey ride to a jayhawk road game. The sport doesn’t matter, but in the spirit of the season, let’s say its football. Said kansas fan makes it to the game, watches his team (win or lose, but historically it’s been the latter), and comes back with incredibly detailed descriptions of how he was mistreated by opposing fans. “The worst I’ve ever seen,” he says. Every time. “I was just there to watch the game, and maybe have a nice conversation with new found friends. You know, normal talk like ‘Those are some nice teeth – most I ever seen. How do you keep ’em so purty white?’ And they said things back to me that’d make a sailor blush. Worst I’ve ever seen.”
Surely you’ve wanted to say “stop” by now. Because we always hear this from kansas fans. They say it after pretty much any Missouri game. It’s familiar fare after any K-State game. They didn’t think much of the Virginia Tech fans after last year’s Orange Bowl, either. And now, we read in the Daily Kansan that there were people, gasp, drinking beer before the kansas/South Florida game on Friday! Quick, somebody dial up the moral outrage hotline, kansas fan has yet another complaint! Opposing fans, in their own house, once again had the unmitigated gall to serve up a nice plate of hostility to the visiting crowd. Surely this never happens to anyone else. Kansas fans are victims, unfairly targeted! They have self-righteous indignance down, man. It’s an art form in Lawrence. Look, kansas fan, if you are going into hostile venues expecting to be welcomed with fine wine and high-brow conversation… start scheduling games at Ole Miss and hang out there. Otherwise, suck it up, know that going into it you’re going to be the target of some hostility, and enjoy the fact that you were one of the few who could dip into your child’s couch spring college fund and secure travel out of that wasteland you call home if only for a day or two. Stop bitching. When you keep saying each place you visit was the “worst ever,” it starts to ring hollow pretty quickly. Please, I implore you on behalf of college fans everywhere, just shut up!
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