STQ Week 8 Pop Quiz

Forget all the talk about Max Hall. The BYU quarterback proved he isn’t the promised one. And again, the non-BCS teams show why they don’t get an automatic bid. Now, if the guys in charge would realize the same should apply to the Big East, ACC and Big Mac, we’d be in business. That’s right folks, in addition to picking games and cracking jokes, we here at STQ are also open to change. We embrace change. STQ in 08.

Standings

Smooth as Eggs – 131-41 (17-7 last week)

Slow Jerk – 128-44 (17-7)

Mad Handles – 126-46 (17-7)

The Wrong Rev – 124-48 (14-10)

Handles

Jerk

Eggs

Rev

Hawaii at (15) Boise

Boise 31-7

Boise 33-19

Boise 48-14

Boise 28-10

(7) TexTech at aTm

Tech 48-12

aTm 30-26

Tech 52-21

Tech 35-13

Syracuse at (19) USF

USF 24-17

USF 24-15

USF 38-17

USF 24-7

(21) Wake at Maryland

Wake 28-24

Md 30-22

Wake 21-20

Md 22-20

(22) Vandy at (10) UGA

UGA 21-17

Vandy 19-13

UGA 20-17

UGA 28-10

(16) kansAss at (4) OU

OU 38-14

OU 44-13

OU 53-12

OU 666-0

Colorado St at (14) Utah

Utah 35-12

Utah 29-19

Utah 34-12

Utah 24-3

Baylor at (8) Okie St

OSU 27-24

OSU 31-15

OSU 34-27

OSU 38-17

Ole Miss at (2) Alabama

Bama 12-10

Bama 15-14

Bama 24-10

Bama 20-14

(6) USC at Wazzu

USC 42-27

USC 37-20

USC 48-5

USC 38-2

(12) tOSU at (20) Mich St

tOSU 24-21

MSU 29-24

tOSU 27-21

MSU 21-20

(18) UNC at Virginia

UNC 31-24

UNC 30-13

UNC 28-11

UNC 17-10

(23) Pitt at Navy

Pitt 17-14

Pitt 3-0

Pitt 28-26

Pitt 31-30

Michigan at (3) Penn St

PSU 38-24

PSU 45-0

PSU 30-13

PSU 42-14

(11) Missouri at (1) UT

MU 38-35

MU 43-33

MU 42-27

MU 42-38

(13) LSU at USCe

LSU 24-17

USCe 20-14

LSU 32-8

LSU 31-10

(17) VaTech at BC

VT 28-24

VT 19-15

VT 24-10

VT 14-6

(25) Cal at Arizona

Ariz 31-17

Ariz 3-0

Cal 30-24

Ariz 19-17

Nebraska at Iowa St

UNL 17-14

ISU 21-17

ISU 28-23

ISU 28-27

K-State at Colorado

CU 35-28

CU 33-29

CU 41-30

CU 20-19

GaTech at Clemson

GT 17-13

Clem 16-14

GT 17-12

GT 28-20

Wisconsin at Iowa

Wisc 45-27

Wisky 22-10

Wisc 9-7

Iowa 3-2

Miami at Duke

U 38-14

U 20-0

U 26-17

U 24-17

Toledo at Northern Illinois

Tol 27-24

Tol 21-15

Tol 24-21

Tol 37-35

Miss St at Tennessee

Tenn 17-14

Miss St 3-0

Miss St 3-2

Tenn 6-3

Indiana at Illinois

Ill 35-10

Ill 30-20

Ill 24-16

Ill 22-13

What kind of a coach is Greg Robinson? Who is the largest coach in America? These questions and more after the jump.

Top 25

Friday

Hawaii at (15) Boise State

Slow Jerk - Hawaii is probably the worst team to ever play in a BCS game. Well, except for kansas. Boise 33, Hawaii 19

Smooth as Eggs – This is where I’d normally make a joke about the Broncos treating the Warriors like Colt Brennan treats women, but that would be uncalled for since Brennan is no longer a member of the ohana. Boise State 48, Hawaii 14

The Right Rev - How the mighty have fallen. Can’t say I feel bad for Hawaii now that its favorite coach and favorite female assaulter are on to greener pastures. Boise 28, Hawaii 10

Saturday

(7) Texas Tech at Texas A&M

Slow Jerk - aTm sucks it, but man,Tech barely beat nebraska. Look for the fighting Javorskie Lanes to pull off the big upset at home. The yell leaders will blow each other after the game. aTm 30, Tech 26

Smooth as Eggs – Tech’s defense has more holes than those cheeseheads Mike Sherman is used to seeing, but aTm’s offense would even flunk in the SEC. TexTech 52, aTm 21

The Right Rev – Tech will win this one, but the Red Raiders are on borrowed time. Not sure why they aren’t as explosive as last year, but this is a team that will lose at LEAST three games (and could have more trouble in the hellhole that is lawrence, kansas, than the Rev originally expected). Tech 35, aTm 13

Syracuse at (19) USF

Slow Jerk - USF has an ailing Selvie. Syracuse has an ailing recent history. USF 24, ‘cuse 15

Smooth as Eggs - South Florida may not be good enough to legitimize the Big East, but the Bulls are definitely good enough to beat Syracuse. Your local middle school team is good enough to beat Syracuse. USF 38, Syracuse 17

The Right Rev – I still hate you, Greg Robinson, you p.o.s. coach. Burn in hell. This comment courtesy of Kansas City Chiefs fans everywhere. USF 24, Syracuse 7

(21) Wake Forest at Maryland

Slow Jerk - The ACC has actually looked “decent” in the past few weeks. Look for Maryland to pull off this minor upset. Maryland 30, Wake 22

Smooth as Eggs – Seriously, why can’t we get a Maryland-kansAss game. That way, everyone will know once and for all, who is bigger – the Mangina of the Fridge. Note – The Orange Bowl orange need not apply, as there is picture evidence that Mangina could eat you for a snack. Wake 21, Maryland 20

The Right Rev - Fear the fridge. God, the ACC is bad. Maryland 22, Wake Forest 20

(220 Vanderbilt at (10) Georgia

Slow Jerk - Hopefully this game doesn’t go into OT, because the UGA players can’t count past 4. Vandy 19, UGA 13

Smooth as Eggs - A little history lesson for the STQ readers, what happened the last time Vanderbilt visited Athens for Homecoming? That’s right, the Commodores were the life of the party, pulling off the upset and turning the red pants-clad crowd into a silent tizzy (seriously, 90,000 people have never been so quiet. Color me unimpressed with the Sanford Stadium game experience). Georgia 20, Vanderbilt 17

The Right Rev – The bubble is bursting, Vandy. Quick, Bobby Johnson: get out while you can! Georgia 28, Vanderbilt 10

(16) kansAss at (4) Oklahoma

Slow Jerk - Bradford shrinks himself down to reesing-height and still kicks the beak’s asses. OU 44, kansas 13

Smooth as Eggs - The Sooners play pretty well when they are angry. OU is probably pretty pissed right now. End result – the beakers’ asses end up gaping larger than Mangina. Yes, this is going to be that bad. Oklahoma 53, kansAss 12

The Right Rev – reesing will eat more turf than the cows they have patrolling the campus in lawrence impersonating ‘women.’ And Sam Bradford will have time to put on new war paint each time he drops back to pass. OU 666, kU 0

Colorado State at (14) Utah

Slow Jerk – No curse of the BYU here. Utah 29, CSU 19

Smooth as Eggs – Utah keeps the BCS busters hopes of mid-majors everywhere alive and Brian Johnson continues to give the Rev wet dreams. Utah 34, Colorado State 12

The Right Rev – Fans of BCS teams in a BCS-bowl hunt: Congratulations, we now can cheer for BYU to beat Utah when they meet later this season. Utah 24, Colorado State 3

Baylor at (8) Oklahoma State

Slow Jerk - I like Baylor, but it is in my best interests for OSU to do well. Okie State 31, Baylor 15

Smooth as Eggs – Baylor is dangerous. Not Dave Bliss ordering players murdered dangerous, but Robert Griffin is a scary athlete dangerous. Okie State 34, Baylor 27

The Right Rev – Robert Griffin III would need the other two Robert Griffins to show up for Baylor to have a chance in this one. Okie State 38, Baylor 17

Ole Miss at (2) Alabama

Slow Jerk - Do you know how badly I want to pick Ole Miss?  JPW’s sweet hairdo pulls this one out. ‘bama 15, Ole Miss 14

Smooth as Eggs – Want a remedy for a Wild Rebel – bring in a mountain. Of a man. Called Mount Cody. Bama 24, Ole Miss 10

The Right Rev – Bama scores a late TD to erase a one-point deficit and win, and front mullet fans everywhere rejoice. Bama 20, Ole Miss 14

(6) USC at Washington State

Slow Jerk - Ho hum, USC is overrated. USC 37, WSU 20

Smooth as Eggs – Completely serious here. Washington State has had like three quarterbacks hurt. The Cougars have conducted an open campus tryout to find additional QB help and the newly-added walk-on is currently the backup. Something tells me Dave Christensen is happy Wazzu passed. USC 48, Wazzu 5

The Right Rev – Yawn. USC 38, Wazzu 2

(12) Ohio State at (20) Michigan State

Slow Jerk - Yet another reason Penn State will win the Big 10. MSU 29, OSU 24

Smooth as Eggs – I dotted the i last night. On the Rev’s sister. Ohio State 27, Michigan State 21

The Right Rev – Ringer up the upset, baby. Mich State 21, Second-State U 20

(18) North Carolina at Virginia

Slow Jerk - UNC is my new favorite “it” team.  Can you say BCS? UNC 30, Virginia 13

Smooth as Eggs – Butch Davis can coach. Al Groh – not so much. UNC 28, Virginia 11

The Right Rev – The Heels will miss Tate, but they still are the class of this (expletive deleted) league. UNC 17, Virginia 10

(23) Pitt at Navy

Slow Jerk - Pitt finally crawled back into relevance.  Too bad they are still overrated. Pitt 3, Navy 0

Smooth as Eggs – It’s the power of the mustache. Fear it. Pitt 28, Navy 26

The Right Rev – Only in the Big East would a team with Pitt’s resume be in contention for the league title. Pitt 31, Navy 30

Michigan at (3) Penn State

Slow Jerk - Penn State – how’d you get so lucky to have a cupcake game mid season? Penn State 45, Michigan 0

Smooth as Eggs – JoePa’s favorite part of playing Michigan – the chance to catch up with his good friend and contemporary Fielding Yost. Penn State 30, Michigan 13

The Right Rev – The pain keeps coming for the Wolverines – and for people who are hoping SOMEONE, anyone can knock off the Big Televen’s national title contender. The funny thing? Penn State probably is better than SECONDSTATEU was at least in 2007 and maybe in 2006. Penn State 42, Michigan 14

(11) Missouri at (1) Texas

Slow Jerk - Mizzou makes up for a shitty performance last week by proving that they really ARE a special team.  They’ll only jump a few spots – if they had USC on their chests winning this game would put them in the top 3.  Rankings are shit. Mizzou 43, UT 33

Smooth as Eggs – Texas played great last week. Missouri played terribly. Get ready for a role reversal. Missouri 42, Texas 27

The Right Rev – These teams look a lot alike. Great run defenses. Horrible pass defenses. Quarterbacks Texas thought weren’t as good as Ryan “I should have gone to Miami” Perrilloux. What it will come down to? Who runs the ball better, and which QB has a better day. Chase Daniel already has his ‘down’ game of the year out of his system. Colt McCoy gets it out on Saturday – in the loss. Missouri 42, Texas 38

(13) LSU at South Carolina

Slow Jerk - Yes.  This will happen. South Carolina 20, LSU 14

Smooth as Eggs - All that’s going to happen are Cocks getting beat. LSU 32, South Carolina 8

The Right Rev – Give it up, Spurrier. LSU 31, South Carolina 10

(17) Virginia Tech at Boston College

Slow Jerk - This is my “terrible piece of shit” game of the week. VT 19, BC 15

Smooth as Eggs – ACC football at its finest (and by finest, I mean more boring than taking a drive through Nebraska and kansAss). Virginia Tech 24, Boston College 10

The Right Rev – Beamer ball, Beamer ball, Beamer ball, Beamer ball, Beamer ball. Woo. VaTech 14, BC 6

(25) Cal at Arizona

Slow Jerk – Holy hell, i feel bad for talking crap about the VT/BC game.  This is far worse. Arizona 3, Cal 0

Smooth as Eggs – Does Cal even know who is playing quarterback yet? And which quarterback is going to show up for Arizona – the real Willie T or the pansy who is afraid to get hit? Oh wait, that is the real Willie T. Cal 30, Arizona 24

The Right Rev - Mike Stoops: just as much of an a-hole as Bob, but much less successful. Arizona 19, Cal 17

Big 12

Nebraska at Iowa State

Slow Jerk – Bo better chew a LOT of gum. ISU 21, nebraska 17

Smooth as Eggs – What do Chizik and Bo have in common? Both supposed defensive geniuses are finding out talent helps. A lot. The Cyclones really are reBOrn. Iowa State 28, Nebraska 23

The Right Rev – The Huskers’ slide continues, as Bo Pelini pops another vein. Iowa State 28, Nebraska 27

kansas State at Colorado

Slow Jerk - Josh Freeman passes out not due to the oxygen but due to the fact that he’s fat. CU 33, ksu 29

Smooth as Eggs - Let’s call this the basement battle of Big 12 quarterbacks. Colorado 41, k-State 30

The Right Rev – Ron Prince will outthink himself at least 10 times in this game. And then talk about how “extraordinary” Colorado’s crappy offense is. Colorado 20, ksu 19

Other

Georgia Tech at Clemson

Slow Jerk – Words cannot describe how garbage this game could be. Clemson 16, GT 14

Smooth as Eggs – Here is to hoping that Shaw or Nesbitt can play for Tech. It’s the triple option’s only chance. Georgia Tech 17, Clemson 12

The Right Rev – Bowden got what he deserved. Now Clemson will, too, for not making the OBVIOUS choice and going back to Cullen Harper. Ga Tech 28, Clemson 20

Wisconsin at Iowa

Slow Jerk - Wisky – finally playing to their potential.  That is, a top 75 team in the country. Wisky 22, Iowa 10

Smooth as Eggs – I’m calling this the Slow Jerk Game of the Week and advising all STQ readers to NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH THIS GAME. Wisconsin 9, Iowa 7

The Right Rev – Keep looking for that first Big Televen win, Bielema. I’ll keep looking for signs Big Televen offenses know it isn’t 1910. Iowa 3, Wisconsin 2

Miami at Duke

Slow Jerk - Did you see the Office last night?  It was funny. Miama 20, Duke 0

Smooth as Eggs – Has Tennessee contacted Cutcliffe about being Fat Phil’s replacement yet? Miami 26, Duke 17

The Right Rev – The Canes are back. Sort of. Well, not really. But Duke sucks. Miami 24, Duke 17

Toledo at Northern Illinois (figure since we pick Big 10 games, might as well pick games from the second-best conference in the midwest)

Slow Jerk - This is more prestegious than beating Michigan. Toledo 21, NIU 15

Smooth as Eggs – Toledo upgrades to a bundt cake opponent. Toledo 24, Northern Illinois 21

The Right Rev – I have no response to this game, other than that Toledo and UNI probably are better than half the Big Televen. Toledo 37, Northern Illinois 35

Mississippi State at Tennessee

Slow Jerk - Tennessee is officially part of the Horizon League now. Miss St 3, Tenn 0

Smooth as Eggs - Why hasn’t Tennessee taken the Clemson route already? Mississippi State 3, Tennessee 2

The Right Rev – Another snooze fest. i suggest watching Fullmer eat on the sideline, it would be more entertaining that watching these teams play. Tenn 6, Mississippi St 3

Indiana at Illinois

Slow Jerk - Can Eddie McGee play yet? Illinois 30, Indiana 20

Smooth as Eggs – Wasn’t Illinois supposed to be a good team? Can Donovan McNabb also teach blocking, tackling, catching and running? Illinois 24, Indiana 16

The Right Rev – Illinois fans finally seem to be realizing what everyone else has been saying all along: Ron Zook will recruit like a maniac, then not use that talent. Illinois 22, Indiana 13

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One Response

  1. Could you guys imagine if Miss St. played Wisconsin on the Boise St. Field for that bowl game that they made up just so they can say they played a bowl game. I truly believe that if that were to happen it would officialy end football for me at all levels. All I would have left to watch is the Royals.

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